That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
