He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm bleeding and have questions
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
