i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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