I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
