this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
