I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
