you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
