Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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