Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize