How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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