In America we eat man semen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
