I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
