Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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