none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
