i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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