This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
