I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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