I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
