Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize