Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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