I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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