I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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