If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
