I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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