I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
