His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
