i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
