so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
