Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
