Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
