I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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