: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
