Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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