Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize