smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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