I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
