lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
