her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
