i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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