you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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