Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize