omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
