We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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