piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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