i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize