So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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