i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
