i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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