Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
