she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize