How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
