I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
