wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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