WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
