What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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