Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
