IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
