ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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