dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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