My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
