i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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