Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
