I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
