how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Vodka?
Forever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
