just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
