You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
