Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
