I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
