Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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