we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
