shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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