girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize