That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
