woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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